Officially Canceled

Today, I finally pulled the plug on the NYC Marathon. I had stubbornly clung to hope that I would be able to run, but that's just not in the cards this year. After feeling a sharp pain in my groin on my last long run for the NYC Half in March, I found out that I had 3 stress fractures in my pelvis. (yes, three. Apparently when I get injured, I really do it well.)

After the diagnosis, I had to be nearly sedentary- there isn't much you can do to heal a pelvis fracture other than rest, and unlike other stress fractures, like in the foot or shin, you're not supposed to partake in ANY physical activity. So from about March to May, I did nothing.

In the middle of May, I was given clearance to start physical therapy, which I've gone to for twice a week since. I was also told I could start swimming, so I've donned a pair of goggles and a swim cap 2-3 times a week ever since. Over the summer, I also had start-and-stops with running. My physical therapist would try to have me run for 30 seconds on the treadmill, but it was always so painful I had to stop. And now, almost October and almost 6 months post-injury, I'm FINALLY able to run 2 miles with only a mild twinge of pain.

Reality hit hard today when I had to hit the 'cancel entry' button for the NYC Marathon. With only 34 days to go, there is absolutely no way that I can physically go from running 2 miles a week to a 26.2 miles in a day. And it wouldn't be the marathon that I wanted to run-- I've waited before to run the NYC Marathon, and I'll wait again.

2014, you better be my year to finally get it right! I'm recommitting to this blog to chronicle my workouts as I get back into running shape. Consider this the kickoff to the road to the marathon...

Should I?

It's time to register for the marathon. My heart is sinking with every passing week- I still can't walk much faster than a 18/min mile without pain. Every time I'm forced to pick it up, like when I've misjudged how long I have to get across an intersection, I'm rewarded with a surge of pain and soreness for the rest of the day.

I'm in a really low place.

I started the year on such a high note, loving running and loving the clarity, peace, and happiness it gave me. And now? I'm lucky if I'm able to walk 30 minutes on a treadmill at a 3.0 pace and pick up a 10 lb dumbbell for some bicep curls without wincing in pain. My next doctor appointment is next Monday- and although I'm no MD, I can tell I'm not ready to run again. That's mid-May. Absolute latest start day possible for training is July 1st--- and that would be coming at it with a zero base. Last year, I could at least run 5 miles comfortably before I started training.

Call it dramatic, call it wallowing, but I'm going to call a spade a spade- this sucks. I'm at the point now where friends glaze over when I tell them I still can't run. My boyfriend is losing patience with my whining. And yet I can't help it as I see my dream of running the NYC Marathon- 4 years in the making- slipping away for yet another year.

The Day After

On what was supposed to be the day after the NYC Marathon, a run through Central Park. The marathon signs are in the process of being taken down, but the 25 and 26 mile marker as well as the finish line are still there. It was important for me to run up to the finish line, take a moment to reflect on training, Sandy, and the marathon that didn't happen, and then to run away with more resolve to keep running until I DO get to run the marathon I've wanted to do and waited to run for so long.

Even though I had tears in my eyes, I celebrate what this experience has given me:

I celebrate being in great shape.

I celebrate being able to run 20 miles.

I celebrate the early morning discipline I've learned.

I celebrate the clear thinking my runs give me.

I celebrate NYC.

Morning run: Out the door at 7:15, 5.15 miles, 50:45 (didn't stop watch when I stopped to take a picture)