Monday, May 6, 2013

Should I?

It's time to register for the marathon. My heart is sinking with every passing week- I still can't walk much faster than a 18/min mile without pain. Every time I'm forced to pick it up, like when I've misjudged how long I have to get across an intersection, I'm rewarded with a surge of pain and soreness for the rest of the day.

I'm in a really low place.

I started the year on such a high note, loving running and loving the clarity, peace, and happiness it gave me. And now? I'm lucky if I'm able to walk 30 minutes on a treadmill at a 3.0 pace and pick up a 10 lb dumbbell for some bicep curls without wincing in pain. My next doctor appointment is next Monday- and although I'm no MD, I can tell I'm not ready to run again. That's mid-May. Absolute latest start day possible for training is July 1st--- and that would be coming at it with a zero base. Last year, I could at least run 5 miles comfortably before I started training.

Call it dramatic, call it wallowing, but I'm going to call a spade a spade- this sucks. I'm at the point now where friends glaze over when I tell them I still can't run. My boyfriend is losing patience with my whining. And yet I can't help it as I see my dream of running the NYC Marathon- 4 years in the making- slipping away for yet another year.

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