There's No Rush

This week has been a little tough, and I've gone on exactly zero runs. Back to my If It Hurts, Stop mantra... my pelvis was still hurting, so I stopped.

Instead, I focused on stretching/foam rolling/giving myself 'massages' with a lacrosse ball. I even took my first plunge in this torture chamber... aka Equinox's COLD PLUNGE pool. I like to imagine someone thinking, 'how could we make an ice bath more fun?'

Absolutely FREEZING. But worth it.

As awful as it was, I do think it helped. There's just something not right about freezing yourself inside before having to venture outside into the cold, dark, freezing night (seriously, what was with the temperature this week?!)

I also got back into the pool for some laps (which I had been woefully lazy in doing), met with my trainer for a strength session, and took a spin class. So not a total fail in exercising this week... but not RUNNING. To say I was upset would be an understatement. I'm so ready to get back out there and get back to a 'normal' running schedule. I had grand plans of being back up to 5 comfortable miles by New Years, and to win the lottery again for a spot in the NYC Half in March 2014. I would magically come back stronger than before, and cruise through that half with a PR.

Eeeeeerk.... back to reality! As much as I'm dying to get back to normal, there is absolutely zero rush to get back. I have an entire year to get ready for the NYC Marathon next November. An entire year! Who cares if I need to go back to a run/walk schedule for a while? Who cares if I run 11 minute miles? Who cares? This week has taught me that I'm still very much on the road to recovery, and it's ok if setbacks happen. Because they will, and the quicker I accept it, the happier I'll be.

And what do you know... I woke up this morning pain free. I might attempt a mile or two jog, or I might go for a swim and wait another few days to attempt a run. But it doesn't matter, and the pressure I put on myself to get 'back' quickly is gone. What a great feeling.

If It Hurts, STOP

Alternately titled... the long run that didn't happen. Yesterday I attempted four miles for my 'long' run of the week, but I only made it about 1.5 miles before I had to stop. I've been enjoying pain-free runs, and while my long run last week was near perfect, this week was an entirely different story.

Just look at that ridiculous smile on my face... and no, I did not pay $25 for a digital download.

About a mile in, I started noticing a 'pulling' feeling in my pelvis. It was similar to the pain I felt the day I fractured it so I decided to slow down, take my headphones off, and pay attention to my form. I tend to run with a 'sway back,' or in simple terms, with my butt sticking out. Not great form for your hips, so I tried to focus on bringing my pelvis back and running with my hips in. After about 1/2 a mile, the pain hadn't disappeared so I decided to stop. I stretched, massaged my hip, and walked a bit to see how it felt. No pain, so I started to jog again, but after another mile or so, I started to feel the same 'pulling' pain.

It was quite the internal battle but I decided to just call it a day at this point. Part of me still feels guilty, and thinks I should have pushed through what is likely just a sore muscle from last week's training session. But my more rational side knows I made the right decision. If it was just soreness, I'll be fine in a few days. But if the pain was a sign of a bigger problem, I made the right decision to pull back. It's tough to feel like you 'failed' at a run, but I'd really be beating myself up if I reinjured myself on a silly four mile training run.

My setup this evening. My physical therapist would be proud.

I took a rest day today and spent my Sunday lounging on the couch, cooking, cleaning, stretching, foam-rolling, and icing my pelvis. I'll likely skip my Monday spinning class in favor of a swim, and then try again for a run on Tuesday. 

Officially Canceled

Today, I finally pulled the plug on the NYC Marathon. I had stubbornly clung to hope that I would be able to run, but that's just not in the cards this year. After feeling a sharp pain in my groin on my last long run for the NYC Half in March, I found out that I had 3 stress fractures in my pelvis. (yes, three. Apparently when I get injured, I really do it well.)

After the diagnosis, I had to be nearly sedentary- there isn't much you can do to heal a pelvis fracture other than rest, and unlike other stress fractures, like in the foot or shin, you're not supposed to partake in ANY physical activity. So from about March to May, I did nothing.

In the middle of May, I was given clearance to start physical therapy, which I've gone to for twice a week since. I was also told I could start swimming, so I've donned a pair of goggles and a swim cap 2-3 times a week ever since. Over the summer, I also had start-and-stops with running. My physical therapist would try to have me run for 30 seconds on the treadmill, but it was always so painful I had to stop. And now, almost October and almost 6 months post-injury, I'm FINALLY able to run 2 miles with only a mild twinge of pain.

Reality hit hard today when I had to hit the 'cancel entry' button for the NYC Marathon. With only 34 days to go, there is absolutely no way that I can physically go from running 2 miles a week to a 26.2 miles in a day. And it wouldn't be the marathon that I wanted to run-- I've waited before to run the NYC Marathon, and I'll wait again.

2014, you better be my year to finally get it right! I'm recommitting to this blog to chronicle my workouts as I get back into running shape. Consider this the kickoff to the road to the marathon...

Should I?

It's time to register for the marathon. My heart is sinking with every passing week- I still can't walk much faster than a 18/min mile without pain. Every time I'm forced to pick it up, like when I've misjudged how long I have to get across an intersection, I'm rewarded with a surge of pain and soreness for the rest of the day.

I'm in a really low place.

I started the year on such a high note, loving running and loving the clarity, peace, and happiness it gave me. And now? I'm lucky if I'm able to walk 30 minutes on a treadmill at a 3.0 pace and pick up a 10 lb dumbbell for some bicep curls without wincing in pain. My next doctor appointment is next Monday- and although I'm no MD, I can tell I'm not ready to run again. That's mid-May. Absolute latest start day possible for training is July 1st--- and that would be coming at it with a zero base. Last year, I could at least run 5 miles comfortably before I started training.

Call it dramatic, call it wallowing, but I'm going to call a spade a spade- this sucks. I'm at the point now where friends glaze over when I tell them I still can't run. My boyfriend is losing patience with my whining. And yet I can't help it as I see my dream of running the NYC Marathon- 4 years in the making- slipping away for yet another year.

3.0

... is the speed I walked on the treadmill at the gym this morning. 3.0 is slower than my normal cool down, but today it felt like speed lightning.

Ironically, I wore this shirt today. It should read 'I miss sweat.'

At my doctor's appointment last week I found out that while my stress fractures are healing, I still won't be able to run for at least another month... walking at 3.0 is as fast as I'll be for the next few weeks. I'm up to about 25 minutes of comfortable walking (this is not the time to push it or feel uncomfortable), am able to do some arm weights again, and can attempt swimming. (although the doc said not to use my legs or kick much... hmmm)

Am I growing impatient, especially as the weather turns nicer and it seems like all of Manhattan has now picked up running? YES. And do I have moments of whining and self pity? YES. But I will run again-- thoughts of Boston are still weighing heavy on my heart, and so many people won't have the chance to run again. And I will. I'm channeling this thought to try to stay positive and focus on the big picture-- come end of May, I should be proudly able to run a mile again. And that makes me smile :)

Running injuries are not fun, but they aren't the end of the world. They are frustrating, humbling, and painful. But they are temporary! 

Happy Ending

This past week was tough  just awful. Last Thursday (as in April 4th), I started feeling some pain in my side. Nothing awful, just a constant dull pain. The dull pain turned into uncomfortable and spread into my back by Saturday, and by Saturday night I was waking up in agonizing, mind-numbing pain. I've never felt anything like it.

I took several ibuprofen, but woke up Sunday to worsening pain, now centered in my back. After calling my parents (like a 5 year old) to ask them about the pain, we decided I should go to urgent care. After a test for a kidney stone came back negative, the doctor said it could still be a kidney stone or could be a muscle ache. Frustrating, especially since I didn't see any reason to have a muscle ache as I've been practically sedentary after learning about my pelvic fractures. The doctor told me to keep taking ibuprofen, but to go to the ER if the pain continued to get worse.

After another sleepless night on Sunday, I muscled through work on Monday to steadily worsening pain. The pain had now spread from my back to my stomach, and my skin was hypersensitive to touch. After waking up at 3AM with severe pain, I decided to go to the ER.

I've never been to the ER before, and I never want to go back. It was miserable- I've never had so many tests in my life (to rule out appendicitis, kidney stones, or anything with my ovaries) for so little result. I was relieved to find out that nothing life threatening was wrong, but even after a dose of morphine and approximately 8 hours later, I left the hospital with a fever, still in as much pain as I came in, and with a diagnosis of muscle spasms.... which the doctor thought was somehow related to my stress fractures. But after taking muscle relaxers and still not finding any relief, I called my primary care doctor, who listened to my symptoms and immediately said, 'Shingles.'

Y'all. Until a few weeks ago, I don't remember the last time I went to the doctor. I NEVER get sick. To hear the word 'shingles' was shocking. Especially since I'm not 80 years old. But as my doctor went through my symptoms, it made sense- excruciating pain on only one side of the body, fever, and skin that was hypersensitive to touch. AND I had just gotten a chicken pox booster shot the week before at his office. So the possibility was high I was either showing the first signs of shingles or having a bad reaction to the booster.

Hospital fashion... will not miss this

Thankfully, it seems to be the latter. I'm finally feeling better more than a week after the symptoms started to show themselves. I'm still not feeling 100%, but I'll take it as a good sign that I'm feeling better and have yet to see the other side of shingles, the horrible blisters.

I think this is a sign that I need to take better care of myself- the stress fractures coupled with starting a new job and looking for a new apartment (yay, finally found one!) was just too much for my body to handle at once. Now that everything is settled and my fracture is healing, hopefully I won't be seeing the inside of a doctor office for a looong time.

The highlight of my week was being able to see my family and celebrate my little brother's birthday!

Happy Birthday!

Guess he's not so little anymore... He's 23! Nothing like being with family when you aren't feeling your best!

ONE WEEK

1 week until my next set of x-ray's, aka 1 week until figuring out when I might be able to run again! I can feel my pelvis getting stronger every day, and although it's been slow going (I still walk at a mid-west tourist pace) and frustrating at (lots of) times, I can tell I'm getting better.

But where have I been if I haven't been running?

Traveling/having fun at another wedding (our 2nd in as many weeks!) and visiting Jason's family...

Celebrating a special anniversary...

And oh yeah, STARTING A NEW JOB!

I was very happy with my current position, but a new opportunity came along that I just couldn't pass up. It's my first time working in an agency and I'm still learning my way around, (although one thing I know is to grab your seltzer early in the day. Agency folk love them some seltzer) but I think it's going to be lots of fun and a great challenge.

So while I'd rather be running, especially with this week's forecast, I'm keeping busy and counting down the days until next week!

Coincidence that my appointment is on the same day as Boston? I think not ;)

Perspective

It's no secret I've been sad and mopey all week. I'm still not running, and can't yet walk without pain. But with some tough love from my boyfriend, I realized it's time to stop moping. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to figure out what's going on, and I can't do anything from now until then that will make my injury go away. Worrying about when I'll run again or if it really is some of the awful things I've diagnosed myself with (thanks, Internet) over the past week is only going to make me more anxious, not cure me.

So it's time to start focusing on the positive things that have been going on lately- no matter how big or small, 10 good things from the past week!

1. As of right now, there is no reason why I can't run the NYC Marathon! And that's the ultimate goal (and why I started this little blog)

2. Got some pretty stellar job news that I'll be sharing soon!

3. Caught up with some girlfriends over Prosecco and Truffle Oil Flatbread at Vero Midtown midweek and at Five Points for some Hot Chocolate and Churros for Sunday Brunch.

4. Visited puppies and kittens at an adoption drive- a suggestion by the boyfriend (who doesn't even love puppies!) after a frustrating afternoon (and no mom, I'm not getting one).

5. Scored $10 tickets to the Ballet. (seriously, if you live in NYC and don't use HowAboutWe, you're missing out)

6. Learned how to make Tofu in an effort to clean up my eating. And by 'make' I mean drain Tofu, cover with Trader Joe's Soyaki Sauce, and bake for 30 minutes for an easy addition to Stir-Fry.

7. Got a new winter coat on major clearance. Originally priced at $375, it was all mine for just $69. That also means that spring must be right around the corner!

8. Started reading a fascinating new book, Salt, Sugar, Fat: How The Food Giants Hooked Us. You probably read the excerpt in the NY Times a few weeks ago, but do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of the book. 

9. Convinced two friends to sign up for the Hamptons 1/2 Marathon in September. I've been signed up since December? January? because I didn't want it to sell out- it tends to be a very popular race, especially in my industry (media/advertising). When everyone starts to think about the race this summer, we'll already have our bibs secured. 

10. Decided to splurge and booked a blow out appointment at DryBar for a friend's wedding this upcoming weekend. (Fact: the first time I got a blow out, I was going to visit my boyfriend in California. I hadn't seen him in a month and I wanted to look as fresh as possible after an 8 hour workday + 6 hour flight. For the first time in our relationship, he complemented me on my hair when I walked off the plane. Price = worth it.)

Soo.... lots of good stuff I should be focused on instead of moping around! Fingers crossed for the report from the doctor tomorrow!

Painful Decisions

I've wanted to run the NYC Half since 2007. I was interning in the city, and one of my new friends from the summer spent June and July training for the big race in August (while the rest of us drank ourselves silly and did other stupid intern things). We all went to watch him, and even though we never spotted him during the race (oh what did we do before connected smart phones?!), it was a huge rush to watch the thousands of other runners flood through the typically congested Times Square. I thought it was magical and just about the coolest thing I'd ever seen in New York.

So when I moved to New York in 2009, I started trying and trying and trying and trying to get into the half (and the full). No such luck until this year,when I somehow managed to get into both races. Over the moon with excitement, I threw myself into training last summer for my first marathon and never looked back.

I'm arguably in the best shape of my life right now, I'm running faster than ever before, and I and am completely in love with the sport.

But right now, today, I can't walk. Whatever I did to my groin during Sunday's run is not going away easily. It hurts to walk, it hurts to sneeze, it hurts to put on pants. It HURTS. And yes, I can be a bit of a drama queen, but up until today, I was 100% positive it would be 100% better by today. I even marked 3 days of 'injury' on calendar for Monday-Wednesday only. Well, 3 days have come and gone, and now it's time to face the facts.

Yes, it's a Chick-Fil-A calendar. The irony is not lost on me.

There is no way I can run the 1/2 on Sunday. If it hurts to walk, it's going to hurt to run. And it's going to hurt real bad for 13.1 miles. And not just the 13.1 miles on Sunday, for every mile after that for awhile if I ignore it. A painful, painful decision that has no silver lining, other than the fact that I'm being a responsible adult and my MAIN goal this year is to finally run the NYC Marathon. I would hate myself if this little injury turned into something that would put me out of commission for November. I'll probably have to wait another 4 or 5 years to get into the NYC Half again, but it will be even sweeter when I finally get to run.

Now it's time to drown my sorrows with more ice and more Downton Abbey. :(

So This Is Fun

Sunday was a perfect day for a run. Closing in on 50 degrees and bright and sunny, it felt like springtime. I headed out to the park sans jacket or gloves, and I felt so... free. On my way to the park I saw a bride and groom taking pictures, and once in the park, saw an epic Star Wars battle between people dressed in ridiculous costumes, and while I was tackling the Harlem Hills, a man on a unicycle whizzed passed me. Only in New York.

It was a perfect day for a run, but it wasn't a perfect run. Around mile 3 I started to feel a little twinge in my groin area, which only got worse and worse as the run went on. It was fine until I exited the park to turn home, but when I had to stop for a light and then start again, WHAM! debilitating pain. I just couldn't run anything further- I think I could deal with it in the park since I was running a consistent pace/stride, but starting/stopping on the streets gave me time to actually realize how badly it hurt. So even though I was less than a mile from home, I threw in the towel and got in a cab (this is how badly I was hurting).

I took some Aleve, starting icing the area, and even put on biking shorts for compression. This morning it's not much better, and a scan on the Runner's World Forum for 'groin pain' did nothing to alleviate any worries. So from now until the pain goes away, I'll be sitting on the couch, resting. No running, no elliptical, no yoga, no Jillian. I'm hoping that a few days off will make me well enough to run the NYC 1/2 on Sunday, but I'll just have to wait and see- the absolute worst thing would be to 'power through' and just end up worse off than I was! Drats! I really wanted to see what I could do during this race!

But the weekend wasn't all bad... besides the injury it was actually pretty great!

It started off with a trip to the Rent The Runway showroom to pick out a dress for an upcoming wedding. So fun! My friend Em and I tried on just about every dress in stock... and the best part? No sticker shock since the rental prices are so affordable!

Heaven!

From there I headed uptown to the Guggenheim for Art After Dark! The Guggenheim opens their doors every few months on Friday nights for an evening of cocktails, music, and art. A great alternative to just going out to dinner or a bar on Friday night! Plus, it's easier to convince your boyfriend to visit an art museum if cocktails are involved ;)

The exhibit was 'Splendid Playground,' which was so fun to explore!

On Saturday, I got to see a girl from my hometown make her Off-Broadway debut! I hadn't seen her in YEARS, and it was amazing to see how far she'd come from the days of our local theater. She's currently in the play Really, Really, which is getting a lot of buzz because Zosia Mamet from Girls (Shoshanna) is also in it. But the buzz is justified because it's a GREAT show. Very engaging and intense, and I highly recommend checking it out- and if you're under 30, they have a few tickets every show that are only $30!

And if you go, Lauren Culpepper is the girl to watch out for :) She's also in House of Cards! 

And the last highlight of the weekend was my binge on Downton Abbey. I'm embarrassed at how many episodes I watched while icing my groin last night... and now I'm on the search for a free way to watch Season 3! I know I'm late to the game, but I love this show!